Once upon a time, actually this was two years ago almost to the day, I rambled on tumblr about my then best friend and the things that she did that made me crazy. I had been doing rants on my personal blog (I’ll add the link sometime) that was extremely hidden from anyone that I actually knew and for some reason I did my rant on tumblr that day instead. Obviously, Negative Luck Noemi here forgot that her then best friend followed her tumblr. And well you can imagine the kind of tweet I was mentioned in. I believe it went something like “If you didn’t want to hear about my problems then you should just tune me out” she then proceeded to quote me via twitter. (Sidetrack: For a second, think about how flattering that is. Getting quoted on twitter?!) And well shit hit the fan, like the cool kids say.
We ended up fighting about a lot of things that night, it started with what I had said and then led to the fact that she didn’t really pay attention to anyone anymore and then how I don’t try hard enough to explore her interests. It was basically like we were breaking up, which after being friends for thirteen years was a little tough to do in the beginning of my senior year. Our mutual friends tried to get us to become ‘besties’ again but she didn’t really want to talk to me anymore (yes, I completely understand why someone would not want to be friends with someone who had slammed them on tumblr) so I apologized for my part and told her that I’d be there when she was ready to talk about it. By the end of the year, our mutual friends were trying their hardest not to make it awkward because of Prom, Graduation and Grad Night but summer came and went and she went off to UCSB and I stayed home to go to Chapman.
Do I regret going all bitch blogger on tumblr? Yes and No. Yes, because I feel that I should have approached the subject in a better way. If I had, I might not have lost a friend with too much truth online. And no because I am a pansy. Plain and simple. I would never ever have approached her about all the issues we had as friends and I would have been miserable for a good chunk of my time because I was “best friends” with someone that was completely and totally different from me: where she wanted to get high and drunk every weekend, I had family priorities that were way more important to me.
Over a year later, she lost her childhood friend to a gang related shooting and I could not stop myself from reaching out to her one more time. I knew that she had never really forgiven me but I knew the pain she was in. Because she was one of my oldest friends I needed to let her know that she could turn to me if she needed anything. That conversation was a turning point in our “relationship”. We aren’t best friends anymore, not even close, but she is someone that has known me the longest outside of family and that will always mean something.
And that’s why I don’t use tumblr anymore. With one real post I hurt someone so I deactivated my account and haven’t been on it since.